My Why

My earliest dream was to be a real Mermaid. For several birthdays, I was eager to turn into a mermaid at bathtime like Daryl Hannah in Splash. Am I dating myself? That’s fine. I’m 42.

Over time that childhood spark dimmed and flickered. Either real or perceived messages of not fitting in, having something wrong with me, and needing to act more like other people chipped away at my confidence and self-esteem.

In the 3rd grade my Spirit died. At 8 years old the self-hatred kicked in, and I needed to adapt. The “Me” of who I was, was wrong, bad, couldn’t exist. So I put on masks and acted like whoever seemed to be happy, fit in, rewarded, or a “good girl.”

Holy crap, drama much?

Absolutely. Trauma is not what happened to you, it’s how you interpret what happened to you.

I developed debilitating stomach issues by the 8th grade, was diagnosed with IBS, which set off my first of three suicide attempts. (A decade later, I was correctly diagnosed with severe lactose intolerance, but the self-hatred and extreme anxiety and depression had already done its damage.)

Here is what I tried to control my shame and self-hatred: Alcohol, recreational drugs, over-exercise, food restrictions, anorexia, relationships (a.k.a. hostage-taking).

Sick and tired after a decade of trying to suppress all this energy and act as if I were a normal human being, whatever that is, I then decided to ask for help outside of books and my own mind.

I tried various types of talk therapy, nutritionists, psychics, energy healers, getting sober from alcohol and other substances, abstinence, listening to Wayne Dyer and other spiritual teachers, acting school, and chakra work. It all helped… temporarily.

Trauma. You can’t just “get over it,” think your way through it, affirm your worth, or any other mental gymnastics. Those work temporarily. They are band-aids. It takes constant work and energy to push down, suppress, or ignore what your body is trying to tell you, and what your body needs to heal.

What happens? You stop breathing. You control. You disconnect. You live in the mental and spiritual realm, never addressing the body you inhabit. Your genius within.

It took a decade of healing to become aware of the depths of anger that resided within my body. It took another decade to unleash a deep well of rage during an intense, but beautifully healing Breath session. 

So when I took the deep dive into Breathwork during the 2020 Covid Pandemic, I discovered and permanently healed all the feelings and memories that were trapped in my body, disconnecting me from both myself and the world. There was no rehashing of events, trying to remember the details of my story, just Breathing and an amazing sense of relief and freedom. 

My breath facilitator cared and loved me in that space, and I felt free to express all the anger and pain trapped in my body. It was the single most defining moment of healing in my lifetime, and that is what I now do for others.

I thought I could heal alone. I needed a guide to hold my hand and show me the way. Someone to point out where I was blocked, stuck, or bullshitting myself. Someone who never judged me, and loved all of me, even what I thought was broken or damaged goods.

I needed to breathe - not everyday breath. Think paying someone to help you learn how to breathe is nuts? Yup, me too. 

Until it literally changed my life… 

If you can’t wait another year of “hoping it works out,” or reading another book, signing up for another free course, or just remaining positive, let’s talk.

Becoming yourself, living in spirit - that means you fully use your mind and body in tandem. Together, they connect you to Source, and that is where the magic happens.

Why should you care? 

Because whether you believe it or not, you, and only you, can accomplish what you came here to do. There is a unique path in your life, and yes, you do have a purpose. 

So why should you work with me? Let me help you find your way. Bring me the mess you’re hiding away, hoping nobody sees because either you are too much, too dramatic, or nobody cares. Deep down inside you know that’s not true. I know how scary it is to ask for help. 

If you’re ready to heal both your mind and body, find your purpose, and not pretend you’re okay when you’re not, call me.